We’ve put a motoring spin on the World Cup buzz and come up with a 5-a-side car football team. Now all we need is the invite.
The World Cup is underway, with 32 teams vying for football’s biggest prize. England’s campaign kicks off (pun intended) this Monday when they play Tunisia, and you can imagine Gareth Southgate is locked away in the team’s hotel finishing up his prized starting XI, belting out God Save the Queen in his England flag dressing gown.
I did say imagine.
On your bonnet
In the spirit of the tournament, and only slightly inspired by Top Gear, we’ve put together a line-up for a spontaneous 5-a-side game of car football.
And with Vauxhall headquartered in England, and also sponsors for the home nations’ football sides, it was only right we opted for a Vauxhall-only team in support of Harry Kane and co.
Not quite as anticipated as the FA’s announcement, here’s our team:
GK – Vauxhall Vivaro
When choosing the man – or van – between the sticks, the Vivaro was the only choice. It’s got the size advantage of, well, a van that’ll come in handy keeping the ball out of the net, but with it being one of the smaller options in the commercial fleet it’ll also be relatively nippy.
The model pictured is the Limited Edition Nav, that comes with a 1.6-litre BiTurbo, so it’ll have no worries shifting itself across the box.
Racing stripes and alloys in car football equate to tram lines and a neon pair of boots in the real thing – cosmetic, but giving the impression of a true baller.
DEF – Vauxhall Grandland X
We’ve opted for the biggest SUV in the fleet to man the defence. And we’d recommend the Tech Line Nav variant, saving you money in the transfer kitty but still fitted with the 130bhp turbo engines that the pricier models have.
The Grandland X’s size and power earn its place in our one-car back line, and coupled with the Vivaro will leave you in no doubt over the defence.
MID – Vauxhall Astra
The Vauxhall Astra is the first of our midfield players, taking up its post on the wing. As the smaller of the two midfielders we’ve tasked the Astra with getting in behind the defence and giving the opposition a few headaches.
Vauxhall’s mid-range hatchback comes with a fair amount of under-the-bonnet options, but we’re sticking with the 1.0-litre ecoFLEX turbo that’s netted an impressive mpg tally in the new WLTP tests – ideal for moving up and down the wing all game.
MID – Vauxhall Insignia GSi
Every single one of the new-shape Insignia’s variants would be at home in the heart of our midfield, but we simply had to pick the GSi because of its performance spec.
It might have a bhp deficit on the Vauxhall Insignia VXR, but it clocked the Nürburgring 12 seconds quicker than its predecessor. That type of pace would’ve justified a place on the wing, but we wanted its 260 horses running through the midfield as a box-to-box powerhouse.
It’s all-wheel drive system will help on the counterattack, too, turning defence to attack quicker than any other car on the field. The huge air intakes and double exhaust alone warrant its inclusion.
ATT – Vauxhall Corsa VXR
We couldn’t have anything other than a hot hatchback leading the line, and they don’t come much hotter than the Vauxhall Corsa VXR.
The 1.6i Turbo is firing over 200bhp, which’ll have the VXR moving at ridiculous speed. Or in Laymen’s terms – like a stabbed rat. And it’ll slalom towards goal thanks to its brilliant handling.
If you’re still questioning its place in our attack, fellow striker Harry Kane driving one in a faceoff against a Lamborghini – with commentary from Chris Kamara – might sway you.
In the spirit of competition
For more footy-related content, keep a close eye on our social pages and the Lookers site, where you’ll find more info on our #KeepyUpCup.
Whether it’s keeping the ball off the ground, or belting one against the crossbar from 50 yards, we want to see your tekkers – and you’ll be in with a chance of winning an Adidas Telstar 18, the official World Cup ball.
To find out more on any of the vehicles in the line-up have a look at www.lookers.co.uk/vauxhall/.