If there’s one thing that the UK’s working population has in common it’s our lunch habits. Whether you’re a crane driver, sit at a desk or shell peas in a pea shelling factory, there’s one food staple that binds us all together. The humble sandwich.
These days we’re no longer content with a cheap flabby cheese sandwich, which are usually consumed at our desks, filling our keyboards with crumbs that will somewhere down the line stop you from using the ‘F’ key. No, sandwiches are now big business.
In fact, it’s staggering how many sarnies we get through in this country. So many that, according to The British Sandwich and Food to Go Association (yes it exists), British consumers munch their way through over 11.5 billion sandwiches each year. They also say that if you laid every sandwich end to end, they would go around the world about 44 times. I did try it for research purposes but got sectioned about 10 minutes down the road.
Anyway, what’s all this sandwich talk I hear you ask? Well, it’s because next week is British Sandwich Week, and I’ll be celebrating, BIG STYLE. Ok, I may just have a sandwich.
My favourite is a good cheese savoury by the way. At least 2 types of good cheese, quality brown bread, not too much mayonnaise, carrot and onion. Mmmmm.
This also got me thinking about cars and whether any could be compared to sandwiches. These are the kind of thoughts I have. And the results are in.
Cucumber Sandwich – Jaguar E-Type
Typically British and typically refined, the cucumber sandwich, much like the E-Type, screams style and still upper lipped refinement. Such is the sense of utter sophistication that I doubt whether the E-Type would look out of place if it was driven by Oscar Wild to a Victorian picnic, complete with cucumber sandwiches. Crusts cut off of course.
The Dagwood – Ford Mustang
A different beast altogether. None of your cucumber nonsense here. This sandwich, just like the Ford Mustang, is meaty, very meaty. In fact, it’s 5 Litre, V8 meaty and, just like the Mustang, is American through and through. In fact you’ll most probably have to loosen your belt before burping out the American national anthem once it’s had time to digest.
Spicy Meatball Sub – Ferrari 488 GTB
Had to be really. Italian spice with lots of balls. It’s also true that the mighty meatball sub, like the 488 GTB, can get messy if not handled correctly. Once you’ve mastered it though there’s no better sandwich, I mean car, I mean sandwich car. Just don’t get any Marinara Sauce on the seats.
Cheese and Marmite – Citroen Cactus
In the modern era, this is the ultimate ‘love it or hate it’ car. Me, I love it. Honestly I do. Then again, I’ve always been a fan of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Reviews have been kind to the Cactus. However, a spacious interior and decent MPG may not be enough for those that can’t see past an egg box stuck to the door.
Ice Cream Sandwich – Volkswagen Beetle Cabriolet
This car is fun. Let’s be honest. It may not be practical for everyone, but it’s damn fun. So fun in fact that I’m sure Katy Perry’s just driven by in one with an ice cream sandwich in her hand and that weird dancing shark in the passenger seat. The wheels have turned into Doughnuts and fireworks are exploding overhead. Hundreds and thousands are raining from the sky.
See how much fun you can have with sandwiches. Enjoy British Sandwich Week next week everyone.